Breaking Ice
My husband said, “You ought to be a lawyer.”
To this day he doesn’t know why he thought that,
But he was right.
At first I couldn’t imagine such a thing.
What do lawyers do?
How do they do it?
Are women lawyers?
I investigated the field.
It appeared to be interesting.
Few lawyers were women;
I thought I could be one.
But how would I become a lawyer?
I knew no lawyers,
I had no connections,
I lacked inner direction.
I went to work in a firm
To see if I understood law,
To see if I could handle its intricacies,
To see if I liked lawyers.
Attorneys in the firm tried to discourage me:
You can’t work full time and attend school.
Women shouldn’t be lawyers.
Women surely can’t be trial lawyers.
I decided to be a trial lawyer.
I thought it would be good to break some ice.
After graduation I wanted to work in the same firm.
The partners voted no.
I was out.
Why?
Was it me personally?
Was it my gender?
No one said I didn’t work hard
No one said my work wasn’t excellent.
No one said, “You can’t handle the load.”
No one denied I was the only young lawyer in the firm
Whose writing had made Law Review.
Yet the ice I had broken left me in a huge hole.
"It’s in your best interests to go elsewhere."
I never understood why my view of "best interests"
And theirs were not the same.
I had to leave the firm.
But where would I go?
One lawyer believed in me.
We left the firm together.
Breaking ice has interesting results.
I had to find solid ground
And stand on my own.
At first I wanted the lawyers who had rejected me
To see they had made a mistake.
I wanted to be better,
To work harder,
To be more skillful
Than they had ever imagined.
I wanted to show them
A woman could succeed in the legal profession.
I proved my choice had been no mistake.
I did my best,
I worked hard,
I used all my skills
And showed myself I could be
A successful woman,
A successful lawyer.
I learned
To focus not on the hurdles
But on the ways to get over them,
To align myself with positive thinkers
Not with naysayers,
To swallow pride
When it’s hardest to do so,
To explore alternatives
When I don’t want to think about change,
To recognize that some of the best results in life
Stem from the worst of circumstances.
Now that I stand on solid ground
I can mentor other young women.
I tell them
Success is not about male versus female--
Thinking about that is a complete distraction.
Success is never quick and easy--
It only results from hard work and constant struggle.
Success is not about self-praise--
Let others say your work is good.
I also tell them
Success is rewarding--
Use those rewards to help others.
Success is satisfying--
But never be satisfied only with past results.
Success is addictive--
So learn to control its effects on your character.
Yes, I broke some ice,
And now I stand on solid ground
Where my continuing effectiveness lies
In my success
At melting ice.
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